The things that were said were not my own. They were from a voice of fear which I have come to know almost too well. It was as if I was trapped behind sound proof glass as the fear talked. Screaming and yelling to stop, I fell in sadness as I watched as you heard them and walked away. So many things I wanted tell you. So different from the fear. It took everything not to throw myself at your feet. I do not beg but I almost did. The need to change your mind in anyway was incredibly unhealthy. I was completely beside myself. In that moment when you had turned away from me I wanted to hide from you, erase myself from your life in guilt from what I caused. I selfishly didn't want to see you be happy in my absence. And once I had erase everything I realized my error. What happen was my fault. All I ever wanted was your happiness and the fear thought you would be better without me. But it didn't take into account how I would feel without you. It pushed you away from me and I am to blame. I let fear rule me, control me. And now even after this time I am still trying to let it go. I truly only wish your happiness and I hope in time I will let myself be happy too. I hurt you to save you from me and to save me from the unknown I felt. In the end all I did was hurt us both because I let fear rule over my own happiness. This is my lament to someone who will never know how truly sorry I feel.
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