The real me-the books, the music, the writing

I have always been a fast reader.  Its a gift and a curse.  I have read so much and read so much.  If the book is really good, I can seriously get lost in it so much that when I finish reading I can't remember the fiction from my reality.  Its a good way to lose yourself but it has its issues because we can't live in the fantasies that people write for us, no matter how much the fantasy is like reality.  It will only drive you mad. 

Its the same with music.  I can lose time and reality with music.  My life is in the music I listen to and the books I read.  I have read and listen to such a variety that I have become and impossible puzzle.  One that no one not even myself can solve. 

I guess that's why I write.  Its how I can release the emotions I am too afraid to actually express verbally.  I have so many notebooks full of random words, sentences, poems, songs, short stories, and beginnings of books, that rereading them sometimes actually opens my eyes.  I don't let others read them.  That's not actually true I have let some read some of them. 

I wonder what people would think if they read what I have written and what I continue to write.  Would they see me as who I really am or be stunned at the fact that I am not who they thought I was? 

random thoughts

okay so these are just some random thoughts that I have been thinking about recently, although most people think all my thoughts are random ha ha

Blue eyes still distract me.  I could just drown in blue eyes!

So I have had a ton of dreams about my future life and family, including being pregnant with twins and other children and shopping and decorating my house while watching the kids and stuff about my job, but in all my dreams I never see my husband.  Now I know I have one cause I have called him and stuff in the dreams but I never see nor here his voice. Its so strange. 

I recently read one of my old journals and in it I made a list of my perfect guy.  Now some things I thought would be perfect are just silly now but it makes me wonder if I will ever find someone who matches my list or just someone who comes close.  I mean I don't need him to be the guy from my list.  Just a thought.

Why is it whenever I go to print pictures I have taken, we are always out of color ink?

I think the music I listen to not only expresses the emotions I am feeling at the time but sometimes dictates how I am feeling. 

I love the phrase "All is fair in love and war" not exactly sure why

Sometimes I wonder if people could read my thoughts if they would be utterly confused because of how fast my mind jumps from subject to subject.  My mind really only makes sense to me, well most of the time it does. Ha ha

Aren't we all a bit crazy in our own little ways

Someone said to me the other day that my hair changes as often as my mood does.  and my first thought was only when I get bored.

Wow ...... Catching up

So last time I wrote was in September.
Catch up time
Basic stuff that has happened. I am now a manager at Michaels, so I work nights and weekends, except Wednesday and Friday! I am now at UVU studying Photography and thats good..... i guess.  I really do miss BYU. I miss the people and the spirit and my friends that I have there.  I do still hang out with a few of them but not as often as we used to. 

My life is pretty much the same as it was than.  My good friends are still Caden, Alexi, Jess, Tasha, Heidi, Jenna, and Sara. (If I didn't name you and you are offended, I just named those I see and talk to the most.)  I have work and school which is kinda boring to say.  I am excited for my trip to Alaska and Florida this summer.  I really wish I could just leave and relax all the time.  I need a new adventure.  Single..... cause guys are so clueless and are idiots.  If anyone wants to ever kidnap me for a mini vacation, I would totally be fine with it as long as you change my work schedule and stuff.  Ha ha

My birthday is in a few months. April 13th for those who didn't know.  I will be 20! and no longer a teenager! Yeah!!!

Anyways thats all I can think of saying