I have always been a fast reader. Its a gift and a curse. I have read so much and read so much. If the book is really good, I can seriously get lost in it so much that when I finish reading I can't remember the fiction from my reality. Its a good way to lose yourself but it has its issues because we can't live in the fantasies that people write for us, no matter how much the fantasy is like reality. It will only drive you mad.
Its the same with music. I can lose time and reality with music. My life is in the music I listen to and the books I read. I have read and listen to such a variety that I have become and impossible puzzle. One that no one not even myself can solve.
I guess that's why I write. Its how I can release the emotions I am too afraid to actually express verbally. I have so many notebooks full of random words, sentences, poems, songs, short stories, and beginnings of books, that rereading them sometimes actually opens my eyes. I don't let others read them. That's not actually true I have let some read some of them.
I wonder what people would think if they read what I have written and what I continue to write. Would they see me as who I really am or be stunned at the fact that I am not who they thought I was?
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